Does it say "professional" on my student ID?: A Nerdess review

I have been in music school for a long time. As a student at McGill I was ignored by everyone because my voice wasn't very big and also because I was struggling with my technique. McGill values one thing, and one thing only: Voices they can sell. Needless to say, I left that school with little or no love for my own voice. And my voice is freaking awesome.

Right now, I go to University of Montreal. While this school doesn't have as many facilities as McGill, the heads of our voice department have been working for years to make it a great place for students to grow and to improve. Because it is a smaller faculty, the wealth is more easily spread, in terms of opera roles and the like. You can imagine my surprise when in my first year there I was given a role in the opera Pelléas et Mélisande. I hadn't felt that kind of validation from my institution since I was at Vanier College doing my CEGEP studies. Working on this role helped transform my voice into something I finally recognised as my own. I was no longer trying to fit into the mould that McGill had crafted for mezzos.

My hardships as well as my good fortunes have helped to shape the kind of teacher I am. I believe it's important for a student to go at his or her own pace regardless of the pressure that is around them. We no longer live in a world where a career needs to happen ASAP. The voice needs to develop properly or it won't survive.

I believe that a school should be a safe place. I don't think it needs to reflect the "harsh realities" of the outside world. We can spread the wealth of opera roles so that younger students gain more experience. We can give them repertoire that suits their own voice rather than something that they "should" be singing as a certain voice type (ie, not every mezzo can sing Cherubino. Not every soprano can sing O mio babbino caro). So often institutions fall short of what a student needs them to be. They set a bar that cannot be reached by a young person whose individuality is forcibly hidden simply because it doesn't fit the tastes of a handful of pedagogues.

Moreover, because these "standards" are set so high, we get compared to professional singers rather than to the only people we should be comparing ourselves to: our past selves.

This unfortunate comparison is also made by music critics. So, I'm going to be crass here for just one minute:

Dear reviewers, what the FUCK are you doing at a school production?

I understand that publicity is needed for us to get audiences to come to our shows. However, I'm pretty sure we get that anyway regardless of what you say in the papers. UdM's three shows for double-bill Suor Angelica and Gianni Schicchi were nearly sold out even before any review was published. So what's the goddamn point of you even being here? So that you can critique something about which you know absolutely nothing? I find it hard to believe that you know what it's like to work and struggle as a young voice student doing everything in their power to achieve maximum performance with the unique voice you were given. The other thing you are sorely lacking is love. NO ONE loves music more than a student and they are some of are the most courageous people you'll ever meet; They endure mountains of criticism on a regular basis--your review doesn't even come close to what they'll endure in a week or a month from teachers, coaches, fellow students, competition and not to mention their own inner demons.

And on that note; students!! I challenge you to look at yourselves in the way I've just described. How could one person you don't know saying something either good or bad affect how you view yourself or your voice? And it's in the papers? So what! EVERYONE knows reviews are based on whether the reviewer managed to get laid that week or whether he put salt instead of sugar in his morning coffee. There are only two people who can break my spirit and they are my voice teacher and my father. That's how it should be, goddamn it!

I believe there are only two things a young voice student needs do in order to survive their institution: Work hard, and for god's sake LOVE YOUR VOICE.

Now, say it with me folks: I'M AWESOME!

Ed. note: My amazing former voice teacher Thérèse Sevadjian was the best thing to happen to me at McGill and I love her dearly.