I didn't get in. But I'm still awesome.
This fall I applied to both the Atelier Lyrique de Montréal and Calgary Opera's Emerging Artist program. I also sent in (shooting for the stars!) a pre-screening CD to the Royal Opera House's young artist program. Now it can be told: I wasn't accepted to any of them.
Have you ever noticed that on Facebook that there's always a couple of people who only write happy posts? I suspect that this is an attempt to make the world (or at least their group of 600 close friends) believe that they're currently leading the ideal life; nothing makes them unhappy, everything is an inspiration, etc etc. Or they're trying to force themselves to see the bright side of whatever inner turmoil is inevitably wading its way through their psyche. While I'm on board for the search for silver linings, I also recognise that no one is happy 100% of the time. We're probably truly happy less than half that amount.
As I mentioned in my post about the importance of breaking down, I believe that it's ok to hit rock bottom. I also believe that it's 100 percent ok to talk about it. If our friends don't know we're upset, how are they going to make us feel better? Isn't that their freaking job? If I'm upset by an audition or by a bad coaching or if I've just HAD ENOUGH OF SINGING OMG I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE, then my friends know about it. And so does Facebook.
With that in mind, this is actually not a silver lining post. My goal for last semester was to put myself out there. I wanted to learn about how to prepare mentally and physically for the challenges of auditioning several times in a week. I wanted to experiment with new repertoire and also challenge myself further with old faithfuls. And I can honestly say that I achieved my goal. Am I disappointed that I didn't get in? ...I guess so? But I think the pride I feel for myself outweighs any natural feeling of disappointment. I sang some really great auditions this fall. And I'm gonna keep going.
Say it with me folks: I'M AWESOME.
Have you ever noticed that on Facebook that there's always a couple of people who only write happy posts? I suspect that this is an attempt to make the world (or at least their group of 600 close friends) believe that they're currently leading the ideal life; nothing makes them unhappy, everything is an inspiration, etc etc. Or they're trying to force themselves to see the bright side of whatever inner turmoil is inevitably wading its way through their psyche. While I'm on board for the search for silver linings, I also recognise that no one is happy 100% of the time. We're probably truly happy less than half that amount.
As I mentioned in my post about the importance of breaking down, I believe that it's ok to hit rock bottom. I also believe that it's 100 percent ok to talk about it. If our friends don't know we're upset, how are they going to make us feel better? Isn't that their freaking job? If I'm upset by an audition or by a bad coaching or if I've just HAD ENOUGH OF SINGING OMG I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE, then my friends know about it. And so does Facebook.
With that in mind, this is actually not a silver lining post. My goal for last semester was to put myself out there. I wanted to learn about how to prepare mentally and physically for the challenges of auditioning several times in a week. I wanted to experiment with new repertoire and also challenge myself further with old faithfuls. And I can honestly say that I achieved my goal. Am I disappointed that I didn't get in? ...I guess so? But I think the pride I feel for myself outweighs any natural feeling of disappointment. I sang some really great auditions this fall. And I'm gonna keep going.
Say it with me folks: I'M AWESOME.
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