Shifting Perspective

   Following on my last post, I now have a full-time job. I get paid to be somewhere other than my house for 40 hours a week. While I’ve definitely been busier than this in my life before, I’ve not actually had one single job that was full time before, and I have to say that it’s forcing me to change my perspective.

   I’ve always had this aversion to doing things that I don’t want to do. I imagine this has something to do with my being a bit of a  spoiled brat, or that I just grew up disliking the words “chore” and “work” (not uncommon I don’t think). Lately I’ve looked with admiration at friends who go to work every day for YEARS when I know that they don’t like their jobs. The reason I held off getting a full time job was because I was determined to spend my 40 hours a week doing something that I loved. But so few people have that luxury and  why should I not be part of the rule rather than the exception I always assumed I was?

   As I start my permanent position, I’m finding that my attitude has changed on its own. I haven’t resented my job for keeping me from doing artistic things, I haven’t had any “Sunday feelings”, I’ve simply made it work. I work on my music in the morning/after work/on the weekend, I tutor after my shifts sometimes for extra money and to remind myself that I love teaching. I even look forward to planning my lunches for the week, as well as my outfits (I love office wear, what can I say?).

   While this is going on I’m also reading a couple books that I’m just in love with. They’re all fantasy novels and entirely easy reading but the stories are compelling, the characters are well developed and the love stories believable. I hadn’t read a book in quite a while and I’d forgotten how consuming a good one can be—it actually gives you something to look forward to; Lunch breaks and commutes are a thrill because I get to delve back into that other world.

    I think this is helping me enormously through my professional  transition. I’m starting to savour the moments I have to work on my music or read a book, rather than spend my time upset that that time will soon be over. But the thing is, I don’t have a choice. If I want to be happy, I have to compartmentalise, work hard, and enjoy my down time. I can’t be waiting for my “time off” as if that’s the only time I can possibly be happy. I have to be happy doing mundane every-day grown up things. After all, I’m going to spend a lot of my life doing them.

  Who knows how long I’ll feel this positive about it but, as always, I’m gonna ride the wave.